Sunday, March 27, 2011

How Not to Invite a Single or Divorced Person for Pesach

Here's what you don't say:

  • Do you need a Seder?
  • Do you need a meal for YomTov? 
  • Which meals don't you have an invitation for?
  • You can come for the first seder. Do you know who else needs a place for that night?

All of these things were said to me by well-meaning hosts and hostesses in the past.

Here's what you do say.

  • Would you like to join us for the first seder?
  • Would you like to join us for 2nd day lunch?
  • Would you like to join us for any of the YomTov lunches, like any of the last days?  You're welcome to bring a friend as well.

Remember, single people don't "need" meals, and if they do, it's rude to remind them of how much you have and how much they don't.  As a former "older single" as well as a former divorcee, I can assure you that these words do hurt.  Have a little sensitivity this YomTov, fill your tables with people who are currently alone, and treat them with sensitivity and respect.

(Getting off my soapbox now.)


Chag kasher v'sameach.

3 comments:

SuperRaizy said...

Well said!

frum single female said...

i agree with you. its better to ask specifically rather than generally. when its a general offer it seems less sincere unless its a close friend asking.
the other thing is that i enjoy be invited to meals for the company, its not really about the food. i don't always even like the food of my host, but i do enjoy their company and appreciate them opening their home to me.

Anonymous said...

it's funny, as a 28 year old single woman with mostly married friends, I often find myself asking families and non-marrieds alike if they "need a meal". never thought much about the phrasing and I'm not sure anyone took offense.. but it's true, "would you like to join me/us" is a much warmer way to invite guests to your home.

chag kasher v'sameach!