Here's what you don't say:
- Do you need a Seder?
- Do you need a meal for YomTov?
- Which meals don't you have an invitation for?
- You can come for the first seder. Do you know who else needs a place for that night?
All of these things were said to me by well-meaning hosts and hostesses in the past.
Here's what you do say.
- Would you like to join us for the first seder?
- Would you like to join us for 2nd day lunch?
- Would you like to join us for any of the YomTov lunches, like any of the last days? You're welcome to bring a friend as well.
Remember, single people don't "need" meals, and if they do, it's rude to remind them of how much you have and how much they don't. As a former "older single" as well as a former divorcee, I can assure you that these words do hurt. Have a little sensitivity this YomTov, fill your tables with people who are currently alone, and treat them with sensitivity and respect.
(Getting off my soapbox now.)
Chag kasher v'sameach.
Posts
3 comments:
Well said!
i agree with you. its better to ask specifically rather than generally. when its a general offer it seems less sincere unless its a close friend asking.
the other thing is that i enjoy be invited to meals for the company, its not really about the food. i don't always even like the food of my host, but i do enjoy their company and appreciate them opening their home to me.
it's funny, as a 28 year old single woman with mostly married friends, I often find myself asking families and non-marrieds alike if they "need a meal". never thought much about the phrasing and I'm not sure anyone took offense.. but it's true, "would you like to join me/us" is a much warmer way to invite guests to your home.
chag kasher v'sameach!
Post a Comment