Thursday, December 9, 2010

24 Incredibly Annoying Things that People Do on Facebook

24 things that I find extraordinarily annoying on Facebook:

1. People who post picture of their kids or pets as their permanent profile picture. Not even a picture of them with their son or puppy, no, just their kids and pets. Frankly, it's creepy.

2. People who punctuate every status update with an exclamation point! Every! Single! One!

3. Friends who "like" every single one of my posts. I have two friends who rarely miss "liking" one of my posts. EVERY freakin post. Like.

4. Frummies who consistently post links from TheYeshivaWorld.com, Matzav.com, VosIzNeias.com or Yated.com. And nowhere else. Get out of the ghetto much?

5. The ultra-frummie whose friend request you reluctantly accepted (usually because they are a cousin or something), who then turns around and gently admonishes you about something you posted not being tznius, or being nivul peh.

6. Relatives who friend you and then tell your mother who is on your friend list (including someone whom you're not supposed to be speaking to).

7. Relatives who friend you and then bring up some of your statuses at family gatherings (does Tanta Rivka really need to know what's going on in your life?) You may say, well then, don't post it on Facebook. But my privacy settings usually restrict my status updates for friends only...there is a trust issue there.

8. Frummies who post racist things on your Wall, or quasi-offensive comments about non-Jews ("...those goyim") or Christian customs, and then wonder why you remove them.

9. Friends who are more or less illiterate and post statuses full of grammatical and syntax errors, or all capital letters.

10. Friends who post the dumbest status updates. "Glee was so GREAT tonight!" or "I love Tuesdays!" or "I am too tired!" or "I had the greatest day at work!" or "TGIF!" or "I am so thirsty!" These are usually also the folks who are guilty of the exclamation point issue.

11. Conservatives/liberals who post, long, brainless, unthought-out, multi-comment diatribes on their liberal/conservative friends' walls. I have one left-wing friend (who actually is not a friend) who challenges every conservative statement I make with pure mush. He uses my wall as a podium to rant about his pet causes in the most inane way possible. Mind you, conservatives do the same thing to their liberal friends. I know I've been guilty of this one, mostly when I first started facebooking. How about keeping it to a well-thought-out, clever, succinct two sentences?

12. Friends who post utterly cryptic status updates with a lot of pronouns. "I told you it wouldn't happen." "I can't believe he did that to her." "I hate what was just told to me."

13. Anything having to do with Farmville, Mobster Wars, etc. Seriously.

14. Poking.

15. Frummies who have joint Facebook accounts (see Frum Satire's rant on this.) MoisheandChaikie Blinsky? Really?

16. Frummies who post under shortened versions of their last names, as if that would prevent anyone in their kids' yeshivas from figuring out they were on Facebook.

17. Facebook memes. Everyone post your bra color to show support for breast cancer! No, actually, that isn't about breast cancer. It's about your bra. Post a cartoon character as your profile picture to show you are against child abuse! No thanks, I'll keep my profile picture; I support child abuse.

18. Women who post pictures of shoes or flowers as their profile pic.

19. Strange men who friend me. It's Facebook, not a bar.

20. People who curse consistently in their status updates. I have a friend who is a surgeon, who routinely uses foul language in his statuses. I really don't get that.

21. Friends of friends (whom you don't know) who make nasty comments on your posts. Lady, I don't even know you; don't lecture me about global warming or anything, really.

22. People who post incredibly personal medical factoids as their status updates, or (worse) on your wall. "Webgirl, I'll be in your neighborhood in two weeks to take my dyslexic brother to a special hospital." "My doctor just prescribed some new anti-depressants, and so far, so good." "Webgirl, let's get coffee next week instead; I'm expecting my period tomorrow."

23. People (mostly in their twenties) who have over 800 pictures of themselves posted on Facebook, many of which were obviously taken with their cellphone.

24. People who tell you (on Facebook) that they think you are addicted to Facebook.

4 comments:

MK said...

Sounds like you really hate Facebook, so why bother with it? I find it is mostly pretty stupid because most people commit one or more of these "sins". :-)

BTW, here is a great post about the "bra for breast cancer" campaign.

WebGirl said...

No, I actually love Facebook and have found it EXTREMELY useful and practical on many fronts. I can't get into details without jeopardizing my anonymity, but if you use Facebook the right way, it can become an indispensable tool. The problem is that lots of people are annoying about it (and hence, this blog post).

G6 said...

Very cute post.
I can relate :)

smoo said...

I soooooo need to "like" this!