Sunday, November 30, 2008

Behaving Badly

For the most part of my dating career, both before and after divorce, I have been a mentch. Really. I have dumped people gently, kindly, and in an adult way. I have never cheated on anyone. I have never really been mean to anyone. I have never degraded anyone.

Except, er, twice.

And both incidents stick in my craw, because I was that yucky to the poor guys. They are both married with kids and it's years and years later. Actually, decades. Seriously. And both these guys are my Friends on Facebook.

What do they have in common? For starters, neither one is frum. I think part of the reason I gave myself permission to act like a total b___ to them was because I really had no business going out with them in the first place.

One of them I've talked about here. I was really quite horrible to Ethan.

Then there's Matt.

I have to admit, the Matt thing bothers me. Still! It happened in freshman year in college. First of all, I'm not even sure we were actually going out. We might have been just friends. Not sure. I think it was headed in that direction though. Matt got tickets to an REM concert for both of us. Then he asked me to reimburse him for mine, which got me thinking that we were just friends. Then I decided that I didn't like Matt anymore, very suddenly and quickly, so I told him that I "sold" my ticket to my friend Lisa. Just like that. He was stuck going to the concert with someone he didn't know, who basically had other friends going to the same concert, so she didn't even hang out with him. So what could have been a totally fun evening was him going to a concert alone. Matt was pretty hurt. We weren't really friends after that. I behaved abominably.

So I was trolling through FB recently, going down the list of people who graduated from my college in my year, and there he was. He looks good. Turns out he is now a writer in the midwest. I Friended him and surprisingly, he accepted the Friend request. He probably doesn't even remember me and thinks I am a fan or something. Or something.

He does look quite good. And he writes quite well. And he is quite married. And I am quite an ass.

2 comments:

BrooklynWolf said...

We all do things in life that we later regret, and we all have moments when we act like jerks.

Given the amount of time and the fact that there is apparently no lasting damage, I'd just let it go.

The Wolf

WebGirl said...

Oh for sure, I'm letting it go. I mean, I would never say anything...I'm not in any twelve-step program or anything. It just bugs me. And isn't Facebook just the funniest thing?