Monday, November 3, 2008

And now for something totally unrelated to the election

Beauty hurts. Feminine beauty hurts like hell. Anything that has to do with, say, hair removal, high-heels, itchy nylon stockings, body-cinching undergarments, etc. all hurt, but help us girls look our best. So we suck it up and do what we need to do, because we like to look good.

But gentlemen, we have been keeping a secret from y'all. There is one beauty ritual that we go through that not only doesn't hurt, but oooo, it feels great. That is

The Manicure/Pedicure.

Yes, the manicure/pedicure. I go, more or less every other week to a small, Asian-run nail place a few blocks from my home. For $15 plus a $6 tip, I am treated to an hour of pure pampering. I am always amazed that a manicure/pedicure is so cheap. Let me explain the details.

First, I sit in a Sharper Image-type leather massage chair and set it to run for a full cycle. I put my feet in a scented mini heated whirlpool bath that has tiny little bath beads spinning around in it. After a few minutes of this, the pedicurist alternates taking each foot out and removes my old polish, cleans, trims and files my nails, applies cuticle oil, pushes back and trims my cuticles. She pumices my heels and soles, and razors off any yucky calluses. She applies a mild scrub to my legs and exfoliates me. Then she applies scented lotion to my feet and calves and gives me a vigorous five minute leg massage. She puts my feet into little paper slippers with separators between my toes, and puts on four coats of nail polish, clear-ballet slipper-ballet slipper-clear. She does this to each foot.

While my toenails are drying, she does my manicure. I alternate soaking each hand in a mild moisturizing solution. She removes old polish, expertly files my nails so that they are all even, applies cuticle oil, pushes back and trims my cuticles. Then she applies scented lotion and massages my palm and forearm. Then she applies four matching coats of nail polish. When I am all done, she walks me over to the drying area (carrying my purse), and I sit under heated hand and foot dryers while she gives me a five minute back and neck massage.

Did I mention this costs $15? Understand now why I give them a 40% tip?

Mani/peds are the cheapest treat of a lifetime. I also think nothing ages a woman worse than dry, brittle looking hands, and a mani/ped is part of good grooming. Your hands are the only part of your body to actually lose weight naturally as you age. While I hate talons and think they are classless, I also think short, naked, bitten, stubby nails and dried out skin is very unfeminine. And guys notice hands, ladies. They do.

So when you're done biting your nails over this election (I had to work it in somewhere), go to your neighborhood nail salon and treat yourself. It's your feminine right. It's so worth it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

too bad in the area i live in that costs at least $35.00 and up - enjoy!