Sunday, September 14, 2008

Saturday night sushi with progressives

I went out for sushi last night with a bunch of Upper West Siders. Two humanities graduate students, one lawyer, one oral surgeon, one special ed. teacher, one web designer, one chiropractor. And me.

I was the only Republican in the bunch. I wasn't really part of this crowd...the lawyer brought me. The lawyer is an old friend from high school with whom I recently caught up on Facebook.

I got a great education last night. I found out the following:

1) Republicans hate children. Unless they are unborn.
2) Sarah Palin is a bitch because she hunts animals but won't abort fetuses. She values potential human life more than actual animal life. How screwed up is that.
3) John McCain is near death. He's also brain-damaged from his time spent as a POW.
4) While being a POW is a bad thing, why is it noble? It's not noble. What's the big deal?
5) The only way a government is going to run properly is if they raise taxes significantly. For the rich. There was a brief argument over what constituted rich (the lawyer and oral surgeon duked it out with the grad students and I giggled).
6) The only way to solve social problems is to have government take them over.
7) If Obama lost, it would be because everyone who is religious is also a racist. If there were race riots following the McCain victory, they would be almost (almost) justified. McCain is the worst racist of all...look how many times the issue of race has come up in the election. Typical white man. Republicans never promote African Americans to high offices.
8) Palin is against free speech and she has repeatedly banned books. She is a fascist who will take away this country's birth control. She doesn't believe in dinosaurs.
9) Republicans love war and death. They like drafting (drafting!!) ignorant young boys off to war and are growing rich off it from all the oil that we are getting in return.
10) The Earth is about a year away from imploding from all the global warming/climate change that the Republicans are causing.
11) Dr. Martin Luther King was a community organizer.

I chewed my ginger slowly as I wondered when to tear off my mask and reveal myself as..... Republican Girl!! Conservative Chick! Voila! C'est moi! I have infiltrated your ranks!

So I sat there listening to this, wondering how much more of it I could take, being thankful that one of the grad students, although a complete blithering idiot, was really cute. If you're going to have to share a meal with a moron, it helps if they are eye candy.

The camel's back broke finally, when they started talking about their feelings, how they just felt that Obama was going to help the poor and how they felt that he cared about them much more than McCain, after all he was raised by a welfare mother....

I let it out. Couldn't help it. It was like lava.

Obama wasn't raised by a welfare mother. He was raised by a rather wealthy grandmother. The science "proving" global warming is shaky at best and is being disavowed by many renowned scientists. Sarah Palin never banned books and doesn't not believe in dinosaurs. Check and There is no draft. No one was forced to go serve in Iraq. Believing that there are things in life worth fighting for and yes, dying for, is not the same thing as "liking war and death" forchrissake. McCain is a racist? Really? As I recall, one of his adopted children is not white. Republicans never promote African Americans to high offices? Condoleeza Rice and Colin they count? The only candidate inserting the race issue into this campaign is Obama. It is perfectly ethical to value human life over animal life and I applaud that point of view and frankly I seriously question the moral compass of people who don't. If Republicans hate children why do they have so many? McCain is healthy, physically and mentally. Period. Frankly, the gaffe-meister in this election is middle-aged Obama. Musta been all that community organizing. The only thing Senator Obama has in common with Martin Luther King is the color of their skin. That's it. Dr. King was not a community organizer any more than I am. He was a civil rights leader and activist who actually accomplished things. Every single solitary time the government has lowered taxes, tax revenues have increased. Yes. Fact. The government of the United States is not in the oil business and did not capture oil wells in Iraq. Being a prisoner of war is noble because you have placed yourself in a position of sacrifice in order to defend your country. Putting your love of country before your love of self is noble as All Freakin Hell. Uh huh.

I let the more ridiculous stuff fly. Even I have limits as to what I will dignify by defending. I knew I wasn't about to win any popularity contests that night. I batted my eyelashes at the cute grad student, who sadly, didn't flirt back. The sushi was really good...Sushi Metsuyan on Central Avenue. Yum. Love that dragon roll.


frum single female said...

great post.

Shmilda said...

Great story.

But how did you get four UWSers out to Central Avenue? That's just impossible to believe. How many pounds of CO2 did they emit on their way over?

WebGirl said...

A mutual friend of theirs had his ufruf in Five Towns that Shabbos. And it was seven of them, not four (if you really want to be impressed). Actually, getting Manhattanites to come to Long Island is not nearly as difficult as getting them to come to any part of Brooklyn. They consider that very droll, dahling.

WebGirl said...

And btw, the amount of CO2 they burned coming over wasn't nearly as bad as the greenhouse gas that was coming out of their mouths at the table that night. Yeesh.