Saturday, July 19, 2008

Starting off the Three Weeks

Tonight starts the Three Weeks. No music, live or recorded, no movies, no "pleasure-shopping." Once the Nine Days starts, no tv, no laundry, no beach, only one quick, lukewarm shower a day. That will suck. But that's national mourning.

Considering what happened last week, when the impotent government of the state of Israel (a state I fully support and love), put the final punctuation mark on their colossal, unbelievable ineptitude by returning a live murderer and terrorist for the bodies of two boys who should have never died, certainly not the brutal way that they did, well, national mourning is appropriate. We are kicking off our season of sadness, danger, and God's anger towards us with a bang. Bang.

My $.02? The government should have traded Olmert for the boys' bodies. Yeah, I'm angry. Really, really angry.

But not as eloquently angry as Naomi Ragen is. Read it. It's good.

So with my usual time-wasting activities cut out, I probably will be blogging more these next few weeks. Woohoo.

I love summer. It is without question, my favorite season. I love the beach, the warm weather, and the long days. I usually take one vacation in the summer, but because I'll be out of a job in January and have work now, I decided to postpone it and save the money instead. I do have some Fridays off, so I've been taking long weekends.

I have some guests coming in the next few days. There are sort of "obligation" guests. One is a quasi-friend from Out-of-Town who needs to drop her kid off here for camp. Another is a relative who needs to do the same, and is turning it into a mini-vacation. Both are sort of the very needy guest type, and though I am rising to the occasion, the selfish part of me wants them to leave me alone and stop disrupting my schedule. On the other hand, I have done so much traveling and stayed in so many homes over the course of my adult life, and have often relied on other people's kindnesses, so I do feel the need to be a good hostess and give back.

I've been thinking about what to do come January, when my current employment ends. Of course there is the dream vacation to think about, but what about after that? Do I want to continue doing what I do for a living? It's a good profession and probably won't be hurt too much by the crappy economy or by (God forbid) President Obama. Question is, am I still excited by this sort of work? Am I having a mid-life crisis or is this a good opportunity to reinvent another aspect of my post-divorce life?

Then of course, there is the personal aspect of what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. I don't want to think about that. But at some point, I need a home. Enough of this renting a house with a roommate and having most of my stuff in boxes sort of thing. If I give up on the marriage/children venture, I need to buy a house somewhere and start putting down roots. But I so don't want to do that. I so don't.

Have an easy and meaningful fast tomorrow. Let's pray and hope for some clarity in our thinking, and for God's mercy on the consequences of our bad choices.

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