Monday, July 28, 2008

Rejection on Facebook...the trauma

I have my blogger Facebook profile, which is anonymous, and my actual, personal Facebook account, with my real name, real picture, etc..

I find it fascinating how upset some people get when you don't want to be their Facebook Friend.

One of my brothers went on FB with a fake name and no real posted profile. He said he didn't want his Yeshivish friends to know he was on Facebook. Okay. How many things are wrong with that sentence? He also didn't want to post any personal information because he considers it private. Which, I think is basically the point of Facebook, the exchange of personal information, yes?

Then he tried to Friend me. I hit "Ignore" instead of "Confirm." Why?

1. I don't need my brother (who, I'm sure, periodically reports back to my Mom) to know my stuff. I don't need for him to know who I'm playing Scrabble with, which groups I join, who pokes me, who sends me Free Gifts or throws sheep at me. I just don't need that. I don't need him looking at my photos, which sometimes are goofy, and I definitely don't need him to read my status updates. I can just imagine posting this:

Web Girl is: hating her job and wishing her boss would get off her case.

It would immediately prompt a phone call or email from him: why do you hate your job? Whatever you do, don't quit. Do you want me to help you find another job? Etc. etc.


Web Girl is: wishing she were married so she'd have someone to kill the spider that is staring at her from across the room.

He would inevitably bring it up at the Shabbos table or something that I wished I were married so I'd have a man to kill bugs for me and my sister-in-law would look at me with total pity and think about how pathetic I was.

I just don't need him to know my stuff. If he were my FB friend, I'd have to censor everything. And that just sucks the joy right out of Facebook.

2. If he is going on FB with a fake name and is posting no information on his own, why bother going on FB at all? So he can check up on me? So he can yenta around and see what other people are doing? Facebook is not a one way street. Anyone who goes on Facebook with a fake name and no real profile or anything personal posted either is there to spy on someone else or else doesn't get Facebook. You are there to share with your friends. If you don't put your own stuff on there, it's just you getting their personal stuff and then saying that your stuff is too private to reciprocate. No, I don't think so.

So I explained this to him and he got really upset with me. He doesn't get it. I probably didn't do a good job of explaining it. Man, I have SOOOO many issues with my siblings.

And then there are the complete strangers who Friend me. Now strangers Friending me on my blogger account is fine...I actually encourage that. But on my personal account? I had one woman write and say, hey fellow David Bowie fan here, wanna be Friends? Uh, no, I don't. Why would I? Why would I want her to know my stuff? Isn't it enough that we are in the same FB group? I mean, that's where common interests are expressed, yes?

Or of course, the guys that troll Facebook, who just randomly poke and Friend strangers. Why would they think that I would want that? What on earth is that all about? Facebook is good clean fun. Why does every social networking site on the internet have to turn into a sleezy singles bar? And man, you should see the hurt messages I get from these dudes when I remove their pokes, or don't Friend back. Does everyone need to Friend everyone else? Why?


abandoning eden said...

dude last week some totally creepy facebook guy kept talking about how awesome it was to meet me in NY last weekend...since I haven't been in NY in at least 6 months I rejected the friends request, only to have him send me one again, and then a third one when I rejected that one with some message about how maybe livejournal had accidentally not sent the other ones...get a clue, holmes....

Lubab No More said...

You friend him but only let him see your limited profile. I have a sibling who I'm FB friends with but I can't see very much on their page. You can block just about everything.