Sunday, January 6, 2008

You had me at Shalom


From the Facebook group "Jewish pickup lines." My top twenty in no particular order. Sorta Lettermanesque, though I know some are so painfully cornball you will groan, roll your eyes, and click over to another blog.

  • Are you the Messiah, because I've been waiting for you...
  • Do you want to try for 9 crazy nights?
  • Do you want something to atone for on Yom Kippur?
  • Want to party in my Sukkah?
  • Which commandment do you want to break?
  • Want to go fiddle on a roof?
  • Why is this night different than all other nights? I'll show you why...
  • All I want for Chanukah is you.
  • Is your Sukkah kosher? Cause the only stars I can see are in your eyes.
  • I see that you are dancing with the Torah. Mind if I cut in?
  • The first line of the Shma commands us to "Love the Lord with all your heart." After meeting you, I don't think I can keep that mitzvah.
  • In this shul, women are not called up to the Torah. May I call you up at home?
  • A woman like you makes me wish our mechitza were see-through.
  • One look at you and I gotta start my al-chaits all over.
  • Even though it's breaking a commandment, I'm worshiping you right now.
  • Did it hurt when you wrestled with Jacob (because you're an angel)!
  • You had me at Shalom.
  • Funny, I don't remember climbing Jacob's ladder, so how did I end up in heaven?
  • I don't care what the Torah says, I'm not leaving any of your four corners unplowed.
  • If you think I got lost in the desert for forty years, try looking in your eyes.