Thursday, December 13, 2007

For My Friend, S., Shoveling Snow in Denver

You know you're from Colorado if:

  • You'll eat ice cream in the winter. Outdoors.
  • When the weather report says it's going to be 55 degrees, you shave your legs and wear a short skirt.
  • It snows 5 inches and you don't expect school or work to be canceled.
  • You'll wear flip-flops every day of the year, regardless of temperature.
  • 'Humid' is over 15%.
  • Your sense of direction is: toward the mountains and away from the mountains.
  • You say 'the interstate' and everybody knows which one.
  • You think that May is a totally normal month for a blizzard.
  • You grew up planning your Purim costumes around your coat.
  • You know what the Continental Divide is.
  • You always know the elevation of where you are.
  • You wake up to a beautiful 80 degree day and you wonder if it's going to snow tomorrow.
  • You don't care that some company renamed it, the Broncos still play at Mile High.
  • You never heard of Dunkin Donuts.
  • Every movie theater has military and student discounts.
  • You actually know that South Park is a real place and have driven through it.
  • You know what a 'trust-fund hippy' is, and you know its natural habitat is Boulder.
  • You don't have any other kind of herbal tea except Celestial Seasonings.
  • You know you're talking to a fellow Coloradoan when they call it Elitches, not Six Flags.
  • A fox on your front porch doesn't phase you.
  • You don't know how to parallel-park and have no need to learn.
  • You warn your out-of-town Pesach guests to bring kosher food with them when they fly in, in case the airport closes for a snowstorm and they get stuck.
  • Your two favorite teams are the Broncos and whomever is beating the crap out of the Raiders.
  • When people back East tell you they have mountains in their state too, you just giggle.
  • You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels 'sticky' and you notice the sky is no longer blue.1

2 comments:

Shmilda said...

You're making me want to visit.

Nice Jewish Guy said...

Sounds something like my time up in Buffalo, NY.