Thursday, December 13, 2007

For My Friend, S., Shoveling Snow in Denver

You know you're from Colorado if:

  • You'll eat ice cream in the winter. Outdoors.
  • When the weather report says it's going to be 55 degrees, you shave your legs and wear a short skirt.
  • It snows 5 inches and you don't expect school or work to be canceled.
  • You'll wear flip-flops every day of the year, regardless of temperature.
  • 'Humid' is over 15%.
  • Your sense of direction is: toward the mountains and away from the mountains.
  • You say 'the interstate' and everybody knows which one.
  • You think that May is a totally normal month for a blizzard.
  • You grew up planning your Purim costumes around your coat.
  • You know what the Continental Divide is.
  • You always know the elevation of where you are.
  • You wake up to a beautiful 80 degree day and you wonder if it's going to snow tomorrow.
  • You don't care that some company renamed it, the Broncos still play at Mile High.
  • You never heard of Dunkin Donuts.
  • Every movie theater has military and student discounts.
  • You actually know that South Park is a real place and have driven through it.
  • You know what a 'trust-fund hippy' is, and you know its natural habitat is Boulder.
  • You don't have any other kind of herbal tea except Celestial Seasonings.
  • You know you're talking to a fellow Coloradoan when they call it Elitches, not Six Flags.
  • A fox on your front porch doesn't phase you.
  • You don't know how to parallel-park and have no need to learn.
  • You warn your out-of-town Pesach guests to bring kosher food with them when they fly in, in case the airport closes for a snowstorm and they get stuck.
  • Your two favorite teams are the Broncos and whomever is beating the crap out of the Raiders.
  • When people back East tell you they have mountains in their state too, you just giggle.
  • You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels 'sticky' and you notice the sky is no longer blue.1


Shmilda said...

You're making me want to visit.

Nice Jewish Guy said...

Sounds something like my time up in Buffalo, NY.