Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Two Top Eight Lists

Reasons I Wish I Were Married

1. It took a girlfriend and me three hours to put together a gas grill tonight;
2. Taking out the garbage;
3. Sleeping alone (where "sleeping" is a euphemism);
4. Waking up alone (where "waking up" is a euphemism);
5. Car maintenance;
6. Everticking !#$%&* biological clock;
7. Frumster and SYAS
8. My last date (see above)

Reasons I Thank God Almighty I Am Divorced

1. My bathroom and kitchen are sparkling;
2. My bank account is no longer gasping for air;
3. I bought this bracelet and this watch and no one yelled at me;
4. I don't have to eat meat for dinner seven days a week (or at all);
5. I report to no one and go where I like;
6. If I am lonely, it is because I am alone, not because I am with someone who makes me feel lonely all the time;
7. I am not a slave to housework, yet my house is orderly;
8. I don't have to soak, scrub, and scour my entire body once a month.

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